Confidence, resilience, and executive presence are subjects of endless discussion. However, there is one leadership quality that does not get as much attention as it should be, and it is self-trust. Self-trust is not merely helpful to women who find their way through leadership positions but also transformational. It is the silent base behind all courageous choices, all frontiers, and all risks.
But somehow this important skill is not given the required importance and seen through the more apparent leadership qualities. The thing is that when self-trust is lacking, even the most gifted female leaders are second-guessing themselves, watering down their genius, and asking the whole world to tell them they are right, instead of themselves.
The Unseen Secret of Having Faith in Yourself
The inner compass is self-trust. It is the power to trust in your opinion, respect your principles and to have a back to your choices in the moments when the way is not that clear. In the case of female leaders, it is especially effective where their leadership power is at stake or their knowledge is subject to an evaluation.
When you are confident in yourself, then you no longer need to explain your decisions. You stopped apologizing on occupying space. You also make decisions quicker since you are not paralysed by the fear of making a mistake. Such internal confidence extends to the outside environment where you will find that your teams will react appropriately to your behavior, and the way your colleagues view your leadership.
The path to achieving this skill often involves dealing with decades of conditioning. Most of the women have been conditioned to find a happy medium, to water down their views and be liked rather than being respected. Breaking the pattern involves deliberate changes of mindset, which correlate with defying all the thoughts that people have always thought about who is good enough to trust and that one of those people is him/her.
The Reason Women Have More Problems with Self-Trust Than Men
Studies have always revealed that women have special challenges as far as self-confidence in the workplace is concerned. We are evaluated more cruelly on the missteps, commended on our being cooperative and not decisive, and commonly criticized on exhibiting the same confidence that is glorified in male leaders.
Such two-sided standards make the environment in which women are urged to be self-distrustful. All the choices become over thought: What will people think? “Am I being too aggressive?” “Should I wait for more data?” This second-guessing, which is always there, undermines the self-trust.
Moreover, women are given less constructive feedback and are given vague praise in their career journey. It is more difficult to build confidence in those areas when you are consistently informed that you are so great to work with but never provided with specific ideas as to how you think strategically or how well you make decisions. You begin to wonder whether you really possess the skills or you have been plainly nice to play with.
The magazines such as influential women magazine have been effective in bringing out these systemic issues and also displaying the women who have overcome them. Their tales make us remember that self-trust is not thinking that you should never doubt yourself it is acting in spite of the doubt.
The Price of Not Trusting Yourself
Such leaders are costly in terms of lack of self-trust. They become perpetual people-pleasers, and say yes to all and burn out in the process. They find it hard to delegate as they they do not feel confident in their competence in terms of assigning someone to do something. They will not have hard conversations as they are not sure of the right to deal with the matter.
This shortcoming manifests itself in minor ways as well. You may also want to gather feedback on every minor decision you have to make without necessarily needing to hear the views of other people, simply because you do not believe yourself to be able to evaluate them in the most accurate way. Or you could minimise your success by saying it was just luck or time which has done it but not you.
In women leaders in particular, this sense of lack of self-trust may become imposter syndrome that pervasive sense of you being out of place, you have somehow duped the whole world and that you are soon to be caught as a liar. It is tiring and it denies talented women the opportunity to achieve their potential.
Creating Your Muscle of Self-Trust
The good news is that, it is possible to build self-trust. It is not something you are born with or just have it is an ability that gets enhanced with practice. Among the best methods of constructing it is by not breaking promises to oneself. When you tell them that you will establish a limit and then do it, you are showing yourself that you are a person to be relied on. Being able to follow through on a choice strengthens your leadership capacity.
Begin with decisions that have low stakes. Be aware of when you are trying to get unnecessary approval and make calls yourself. Keep record of your decisions and their consequences not to criticize yourself but to gather proofs of your good judgment. You will find out that you are right more frequently than you believe.
The other technique that works wonders is to analyze the source of your self-doubt. Is it founded on real evidence or is it a recreation of another voice of a critical parent, a dismissive former boss, messages in the culture about the capabilities of women? The process of busting stereotypes begins with the realization of which beliefs are really yours and which beliefs are something you have picked up due to a culture that tends to undermine women.
Make people around you reflect your competence to yourself. Find mentors and organizations that do not tolerate but celebrate women being leaders. The views expressed in the sites that are devoted to empowering women can help you receive the outside confirmation that you should feel worthy of until you trust yourself to trust yourself.
Self-Trust in Action
What self-trust does involve in leadership? Even when the board is doubtful, it is the executive that rearranges her team according to her vision. It is the entrepreneur who rejects the funding that comes with conditions that do not match her values. The manager is the one who covers the performance issue as an issue and not as an opportunity to pass.
Self-trust is taking actions with limited information since you believe that you are capable of correcting yourself in case of need. It involves being willing to realize that not all people will support your decisions and be comfortable with that. It involves understanding that being a good leader does not imply being faultless it entails being resolute, responsible, and sticking to your core values.
The women who develop self-trust would be the type of leader that other people would follow. And not because they are good, but because they are real. They are the exemplars of how to believe in yourself and be ready to develop. They show that leadership does not presuppose having all the answers, but it presupposes the ability to find those answers.
Here Your Leadership Revolution Begins
It is true that self-trust may be underestimated, but it is not necessarily to remain so. The more women understand why this matter is crucial and train this ability, the more we reconfigure the picture of leadership itself. We make room to make subtle choices, to be strong and weak at the same time, to establish organisations that appreciate wisdom instead of machismo.
Self-trust does not always follow a straight line. When you are afraid of the return of doubt, when you are convinced that you made a wrong decision, when you are in the grip of external criticism, there will also be moments when you will feel shaky. That’s normal. The difference is that having a high core of self-trust, you do not allow such moments to define you. You credit them, study under them, and continue on the way.
Your voice matters. Your judgment is valuable. Your leadership is needed. Believe in yourself to the point of possessing it all.
